Obesity Allows Artist to Hit the Jackpot

Today I'll be quoted in the National Post talking about obesity rates and likely some relationship will be drawn to the incredible indirect and direct health care expenditures attached to it.

Well today I've got a more positive spin on how obesity helped one man hit an incredible payday.

Tuesday night Christie's auction house sold a painting by Lucien Freud entitled, "Benefits Supervisor Sleeping".

According to CNN, The painting was painted over a period of 9 months back in 1995 and it's of Ms. Sue Tilley, a British governmental benefits manager.

With the sale Freud gained the honour of his painting selling for the highest dollar value of any painting ever painted by a living artist.

His obese payday?

$33.6 million dollars.

That's $3.73 million a month or $124,000 per day for the 9 months he spent painting it.

Unfortunately Ms. Tilley didn't get paid quite as well - she took home a comparatively anorexic $51/day.

[Hat tip goes out to my mom]

UPDATE: I received a phone call today from someone who felt this post was offensive to folks with weight to lose.

Frankly I don't see it.

I definitely don't understand art, that I'll readily admit and I can't fathom how any painting of anything is worth 33.6 million dollars.

I think it's a great painting and wonderful that the model wasn't self-conscious about her weight as frankly body image need not be tied into weight, but the post was really meant to highlight the tremendous value that society has placed on weight as evidenced by the incredible dollars spent on a portrait of an obese woman lounging on a sofa.

Anyhow, if anyone else was upset by this post feel free to let me know in the comments.

Now This is Going Too Far

You know I'm all about healthy living, but this is really going too far.

It's a house in Long Island, NY and it was specifically designed to be, get this, as uncomfortable to live in as possible.

The house even has a name, it's called the Bioscleave House and it's also known as the Lifespan Extending Villa.

So why would it be a good idea for the home to be uncomfortable?

Well according to an article from the New York Times, the designers feel,

"Its architecture makes people use their bodies in unexpected ways to maintain equilibrium, and that, she said, will stimulate their immune systems."

So what's uncomfortable? Well as you can see from the picture above, the floor is an undulating, uneven mass with poles for stability and if you click on the slideshow on the New York Times' website, you'll also see that power outlets and light switches are placed at seemingly random and hard to reach locations.

Other than perhaps Dr. James Levine, I'm not sure who else would want this house. That might explain why not surprisingly, the house is unoccupied - but if you've got $2 million to spare, its wonders can be yours.

A word of advice to the would be buyers - if you go out for a bender, instead of getting a taxi home, rent a room.

Stupidest Treadmill Ever

If you ever feel a need to look patently ridiculous, you need look no further than this treadmill by Oooms.

Called the Rollator, walking on it causes its wheels to turn thereby propelling you forward. What this means of course is that you can only use it outdoors and you can use it to get from one place to another.

You know what else does that?

Walking.

A video of this sublimely stupid product below.

More Weird Searches

A while back I posted a top ten list of weird searches that landed people on my blog. I decided this morning after seeing someone found me by searching for, "How many people die from choking on bacon?" that it was time for another list.

Here are ten more very strange searches:

1. Mcdonalds "snack wrap" diarrhea
2. Does red meat stay in my stomach?
3. Safe to give toddlers coke chocolate?
4. Calories in smell
5. This dog won't hunt overweight kids
6. Uses of coca cola as medicine
7. Rejoice underwear canada
8. How to quit atkins?
9. "coke plus" diarrhea
10. Space alien medicine.

So if those folks are still trolling around here...diarrhea guy, I hope you're feeling better. Please don't give your toddler coke chocolate. Don't worry about calories in smell (there aren't any). Coca Cola is not a medicine. I'm glad someone really likes underwear. And if you want to quit Atkins please try eating some bread.

"Fat Kids Can't Hunt"

That's the very unfortunate name of a very unfortunate new show being planned in Australia.

According to the report, the premise is pretty straightforward: 10 overweight children spend one month living with Australian aboriginals and during that month, they are only allowed to eat foods that they procure and hunt themselves using traditional aboriginal techniques.

Apparently this is not the first such show as it's mirroring a British show entitled, "Fat Men Can't Hunt" which involved sending overweight men to Namibia with similar rules.

This is wrong on so many levels. From the potential of worsening body image issues in the children, to the show not teaching them anything about how to eat and "hunt" nutritiously in our urban jungles, to the exploitation of these children's obviously desperate vulnerability and lastly to the fact that the show is so outrageous that despite all of my concerns, the voyeur in me wants to watch it.

On a number of occasions I've been approached by television news or morning shows to have them follow a patient through my program. I've turned them down every time. Weight loss is a personal decision and a personal journey and involves changing a lifestyle. Lifestyle change is difficult and I would never want to add the additional burden and pressure of television exposure to any of my patients.

I do worry how this show is going to affect those children.

If this really were a reality television show I'd have them take the parents and not the kids.

[Hat tip to a blog I happened across yesterday - Rudd Sound Bites; an informative and biting blog written out of Yale's Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity]

Big Bacon Comes out Swinging

Who even knew there was such a thing as big bacon?

Consider the European company Danish - their logo is their name styled to look like a piece of bacon and they just published a press release entitled,

"Science in a sandwich: boffins create 'the perfect bacon buttie' formula"

Now for those of us who aren't living across the pond and don't know what they heck a "bacon buttie" is, it's a white bread bacon sandwich and apparently the brits can't get enough of them.

Danish paid 4 "scientists" in Leeds to come up with a "formula" to create the perfect bacon buttie. According to the press release, they spent over 1,000 hours testing 700 different variations.

Here's the formula they deemed reflects buttie perfection:

N = C + {fb(cm)*fb(tc)} + fb(Ts)+ fc*ta

Where,

N = force in Newtons required to break the cooked bacon
fb = function of the bacon type
fc = function of the condiment / filling effect
Ts = serving temperature
tc = cooking time
ta = time or duration of application of condiment / filling
cm = cooking method
C = Newtons required to break uncooked bacon

I have to just quote from the press release, because it's just too weird for me to paraphrase,

"The research revealed that, ideally, the ‘crunching’ sound made when you tuck in to those crispy rashers should measure 0.5 decibels when eaten, and they should break when 0.4 Newtons of force is applied through chewing.

The butties were tested using a high-tech computer that measures food texture, while taste panels consisting of 50 eager volunteers judged the butties for taste, texture and flavour. Further consumer group research by Danish Bacon confirmed that the formula is a clear favourite with bacon fans – over 60 per cent gave the bacon butties prepared using the new equation the ‘thumbs up’."

But the best part of this incredible waste of 1,000 hours of time comes from the same press release's "recipe" to make your perfect bacon buttie at home. Their "step-by-step guide to the perfect bacon buttie" has a grand total of six steps:

1. Cut two slices of white farmhouse bread (one to two centimetres thick)
2. Take two or three (or more!) rashers of Danish back bacon (smoked or unsmoked – whichever is your preference)
3. Place under preheated oven grill for approximately seven minutes on high (preferably 240 degrees)
4. Turn once during cooking
5. Add sauce to taste
6. Eat and enjoy!

Or to summarize, get white bread, buy our brand of bacon, cook it and eat it.

You've got to hand it to Big Bacon though, this thing hit the New York Times.

Top Ten Weird Searches that hit my Blog

A while back I installed Google Analytics on my blog - it's a service that keeps statistics about visitors and tells me things about where people heard about my ranting.

For the folks who find my blog via search engines, it'll actually tell me what search they entered in order to find me.

Most are pretty straightforward - Canada's Food Guide, Is Meat Healthy and such, but some are well, kinda weird.

In no particular order, here are the strangest searches of the past few months:

10. Buy cocaine by mail in Canada
9. Underwear
8. Foot long meatball
7. Selling mantras
6. Victoria Beckham's daily calorie intake
5. Be uber skinny
4. What kind of medicine was ketchup?
3. "Colon blow" consumer concerns
2. Tostitos Passover
1. How to eat less fruit

For the person with the "How to eat less fruit" search - may I suggest eating less fruit?

Mush!

Finally, a way to walk your dog without you having to walk yourself!

For only $540 you can buy yourself the "Dog Powered Scooter" and you may never have to walk again.

According to the website, it is a

"hobby/sport you can both enjoy so that more time can be spent together"

and a form of

"practical transportation"

Remember guys, walking is for suckers.

Uber-Skinny Models Eat Free

If you happen to be in London, and you happen to be a professional model, and your modeling card says you're a size zero, you're in luck!

Perhaps due to the ban on super-skinny models from the runways of Madrid, or perhaps because Victoria Beckham has banned size zero models from modeling her clothing, or perhaps because Bumpkin figures a bunch of models might bring in some crowds, Bumpkin Restaurant, a trendy eatery in London's Notting Hill is offering to feed you for free.

Couple that with a trip to Germany to the Hotel Ostfriesland that charges you by weight and super-skinny model you does Europe on the cheap.

We live in a very strange world.

Stupidest Weight Loss Drug Ever Round II

It's called Slentrol and it's being marketed by Pfizer as a prescription weight loss drug for dogs.

Yes, I did just write a prescription weight loss drug for dogs.

So where does this dramatic rise in canine obesity come from?

It must be the growing prevalence of suburbia where the dogs are much more likely to drive to work than walk. Or perhaps it's all of the commercials that basically brainwash dogs into eating more. Maybe it's the rapid growth of fast dog food restaurants where dogs get to great-dane-ersize all of their portions for just a few pennies. I suppose it's also possible there's a new doggie gut bacteria causing rapid weight gain, or maybe an adenovirus?

Or maybe, just maybe, it's from their owners feeding them too much food and not going out with them for exercise?

If a doggie weight loss drug isn't enough of an example for you of a world gone wrong, how about a doggie gym? Or a doggie treadmill?

Here's a simple rule - you know your lifestyle needs a major makeover if : (a) Your dog is fat, and (b) The best solution you can come up with for helping your dog lose weight is a prescription weight loss drug.

Why Do my Plates Keep Yelling at me?

Put this one on your do-not-buy list.

Dr Hryhory Chausovsky, a Ukrainian scientist from the University of Zaporizhia's Life Activities Laboratory has invented the irritating plate (he calls it a talking plate).

The plate is quite small, 15cm in diameter and it's hooked up to a small computer and has a built in scale.

If the plate decides you've put too much food on it, it yells at you,

"Stop right there",

"What about excess weight?"

"Where's your willpower?"

Chausovsky apparently hasn't met really anyone with a background in nutrition. The problem with his vision, as I'm sure many of you are aware, is that weight alone does not dictate the nutritional or caloric content of a food. I don't want my heaping plate of salad yelling at me and asking me about my willpower.

The plate reminds me of a common occurrence in many households - Food Cops.

He or she is the guy that watches you carefully while you eat and asks "helpful" questions like, "Are you supposed to eat that?" and "How much of that are you allowed?".

Food cops aren't helpful. Instead of helping they push our buttons - buttons that once pushed, often lead to angry eating.

If you've got a food cop at home feel free to forward this blog where they can read the only question they're is ever allowed to ask you, and they're only allowed to ask it once. The question is,

"Is there anything that I can do to help you honey?"

And if the answer's no, no more questions.

Whitey, Yellowy, Goopy Gold - $5,000 a Litre Biodiesel!

There's gold in them-thar bellies!

I'm not sure if this qualifies as a smack your forehead, why didn't I think of that story, but you have to admire the lateral thinking.

Lauri Venoy, a Norwegian businessman, has apparently signed a deal to obtain over 11,000 litres of human fat a week.

What will he do with all that fat you ask? Well he sees it as white gold - he plans to convert it into combustible, foreign-oil-dependence killing, car-fueling, biodiesel!

Wisely, he's not basing his business in Norway, but rather in the USA where there is much greater abundance of natural resources.

Ever the businessman, Venoy plants seeds for growth stating,

"Maybe we should urge people to eat more so we can create more raw material for fuel"

Thankfully for Venoy, there is no shortage of people trying to convince us to eat more (Big Food, and these days in Canada, Health Canada) and with 65-75% of North Americans overweight or obese, there's no shortage of "raw materials".

Don't worry about the cost at the pumps though, the $5,000 a litre is for the patient.

I imagine once outside of the body, human fat's probably pretty cheap.

Ever Wonder What it Would be Like to Get Hit by 1,000s of Pies?

I find Japanese television to be both spellbinding and jaw dropping.

Here, for Funny Friday, is a 3-part video of a Japanese television show which from what I can gather involves an unfortunate gentleman who for some reason has agreed to spend an entire day getting hit by cream pies.

The clips are lengthy, the humour builds slowly, but boy did I enjoy them.

I especially liked it in the first clip when the man tries to make himself some toast and one of the cream-pie ninjas throw a pie in his toaster. I also liked the third segment when the man while trying to sleep is awoken by an older woman coming out of his closet and then eating the cream off the pie guy's face (this scene potentially not for younger eyes).

The pies begin at the 2:06 mark in the first video and then they just don't stop.

Clearly I'm a simple, simple man.

Have a great weekend!

Telegrams for Beyond the Grave

So I was all excited to have launched a new feature - Funny Fridays and had a great clip up of Steve Carrell from the Daily Show getting his daily vegetables from "all-vegetable" Crisco.

Unfortunately last night Comedy Central decided to lawyer up and all of their clips on youtube are gone.

So I had to find something else.

In honour of Halloween, here's Afterlife Telegrams.

For just $5, a "terminally ill volunteer" will memorize your telegram and deliver it when he dies.

I'm not making this stuff up.

Penn & Teller's Bullsh!t does NAASO!

So what would you do?

One of your favourite "expose" shows wants to interview you, but the reason you love the show is because it's so entertaining due to how great the hosts are at skewering those dumb enough to be interviewed by them?

Guess I'm pretty dumb.

I love Penn and Teller's Bullsh!t show and when some guys with a camera asked me for an interview and told me they were freelancing for Bullsh!t...well surprisingly it wasn't a dilemma so we'll have to watch in March or April when they do their obesity expose and see if I got on.

As some of you may know, the NAASO - the Obesity Society's annual meeting is probably the largest obesity conference of the year. 5 consecutive streams of presentations with over 2,000 attendees from all over the globe.

Small wonder Bullsh!t came here, because with that many people some of them are bound to put their feet in their mouths.

Thing is I didn't mind being interviewed because I believe in what I'm doing with every fibre of my medical being.

Hopefully they won't make me look any stupider than I actually am.

Hey wait a sec...

My First Million Dollar Idea

Again I'm stealing from bookofjoe. I can't help it. He's a great blogger. He often offers up his million dollar ideas for free to the first person willing to build them.

Well, here, up for grabs, is my first million dollar idea.

Sitting in an obesity conference all day long, you get to thinking about obesity.

Certainly one of the problems with regards to the development of obesity is the fact that if it sets in before the end of childhood, the likelihood is, it's going to stick.

One of the problem with childhood obesity is that the children are themselves consumers. And while you and I hopefully make health a priority in our lives, kids are dramatically swayed by marketing, with corporations preying on our children's unholy attachments to folks like Dora and using her simply to sell the pre-requisite Dora cereal and in general encourage children to consume highly refined, less nutritious foods.

I believe it was Dateline (or maybe 60 minutes...it was one of those shows) that showed children were in fact more likely to choose a rock with stickers of Sponge Bob on it for a snack, than a poor old banana.

Seeing that picture of the laser etched fruit got me thinking....

Why can't we laser etch Sponge Bobs and Doras and all sorts of cartoon characters onto our fruit and vegetables?

Now I know that this isn't going to in and of itself do a heck of a lot to stem the tide of obesity, but hey, if it'll help promote nutrition in our children, and at the same time generate profits for fruit and vegetable growers (both from increased purchase and from folks like Nickoledeon) it certainly can't hurt.

Probably a lot more than a million bucks for the person who can present Disney, Nickoledeon and others a means to market their cartoons on actually healthy products.

It's easier to die than to win at McDonald's!

Hat tip to Fast Food News for their expose on just how unlikely you'll win anything good playing the returning McDonald's Monopoly promotion.

To win even the smallest prize (a small McFlurry, a medium fries or a breakfast sandwich) your odds are 1 in 7.2 (that's seven nutritious trips to McD's!)

It gets more fun when we forget about the food and move on to the bigger ticket items.

Your odds of winning a Sony home theatre and flat panel HDTV are 1 in 91,697,000!

Your odds of winning a trip to Vegas are 1 in 114,621,250!

Your odds of winning a $50,000 prize are 1 in 3,500,000,000!

Your odds of winning the $5,000,000 grand prize are 1 in 41,497,391,309!

To put this in perspective for you I turned to the National Safety Council.

Buckle your seatbelts; you are 4,994 times more likely to die in a car accident this year than win the TV.

Hold onto that bannister; you are 625 times more likely to die falling down stairs this year than win the trip to Vegas.

Maybe drinking's not so fun; you are 4,729 times more likely to die from accidentally choking on your own vomit this year than win the $50,000.

and lastly....

Maybe move to Slovenia; you are a staggering 2,529,865 times more likely to get murdered this year than win the $5,000,000 grand prize.

Ain't stats grand?

We live in a very strange world

Not only because this event actually took place, not only because someone televised it, but mainly because of the use of the term, "athlete", by the commentators and the fact that one can make a living as a "professional eater".

Skinny? Have I got a hotel for you!

Norden, Germany. Juergen Heckrodt the owner of Hotel Ostfriesland has an interesting policy. He charges half a euro per kilogram for his rooms with a maximum cost of 39 Euros.

While this policy may not impact on global obesity rates, it's certainly unique!